No. 14

No. 14







                                                         Emotional problems... and solutions










The dark haired man led us through a hallway that gave off little light.
None of us made a sound.
Which just made it all the more eerie.
Brother.

We were finally taken into a room that was large and richly furnished in reds and blacks.
The Captain sat on a low couch with a glass of red wine in his hand.
Ooh dear...
“Ah... Skye, Kigo. Please take a seat.”
Neither of us moved. He waved his hand.
“Or stand, which ever you prefer.”
We both nodded.
“Now... You both have gotten to know each other a little. I assume. Now you’ll be able to get to know each other even better!”
I cocked my head, my raven black hair fell over my shoulder.
“From here on out your partners.”
We both lost our jaws.
“Excuse me?!” We both said.
He nodded and took a calm sip.
“Your partners. You do everything together. From here on out I don’t want you two seen apart.”
I glanced over at Kigo.
And he did the same.
“Are you serious?” He asked.
The Captain nodded.
“Everything?” I asked. There was serious problems with that order. Serious problems!
“Besides the obvious things. Yes.”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead.
“Skye do you have a problem with this?” He asked.
If I said yes, I’d be blown. But if I said no, you would kill me.
Decisions, decisions, decisions!
“No.” I said finally.
He nodded once.
“Kigo?”
Kigo shook his head.
“No biggie. Babysitting.... great just what I always wanted.”
He said with a grin.
“Now, let’s see what you’ll have to do tomorrow... “
He beckoned over his shoulder, and a maid came running over with a file. She handed it to him, and then disappeared again.
The Captain flipped the folder open and we both tried to get a peak.
“Ah. Here.”
He pulled out two sheets of paper and gave them to us.
We reached forward and took them.
On it was a small picture clipped to the upper left hand corner. It was of a young man that looked to be around in his 20’s.
He had brown hair that fell to his shoulders, brown eyes that reminded me of Valadamir’s.
Under the picture, I got the impression that it was a record of what he’s been doing in the past few months or so.
“He’s gotten to nosey. Take care of him.”
Kigo nodded.
“That’s it.”
Kigo motioned for me to follow him, and we walked out of there.
“We leave at dawn.” He ordered with a very serious face.
I nodded and walked off.
I passed the lounge room.
Taking a glance in I saw that you hadn’t moved sense I had last seen you.
You noticed me right away.
I gave a head jerk, and you jumped up and joined me.
“What happened?” You asked as you took my hand and led me down more hallways. We finally came up to the door for the elevator.
You waved your arm over a panel and it flashed white. Then you placed your hand on it and it came up with your fake ID and you quickly typed in your password.
I tugged at my sleeve nervously as feelings of betrayal crept up in me.
Why on earth would you be one of them?!
What angle are you playing?!?!
What is going on?!?!?!

You looked at me in the elevator for an answer to the question you had asked, but I kept my head down and didn’t met your gaze.
I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to hurt you, but I wasn’t sure about you at the moment either.

As soon as the doors opened, I walked out quickly.
I wasn’t trying to be rude, or anything. But I didn’t feel like talking to you at the moment. I needed to get my head cleared.
And I couldn’t do that with you breathing down my neck all the time.
You didn’t say anything but followed me silently. Ha, just like the old days.
I broke through the doors and stepped out onto the street.

I was met by a cold hard wind that made me shiver.
It was getting cold.

I took to the streets and a fast paced walk with determined steps.
I could still sense you behind me and I could sense you closing in on me.
I sighed and rubbed my temples as I clutched the paper under my arm.
“Zaydie what happened?”
You were suddenly in front of me.
I sighed.
“Who are you?” I asked. I couldn’t keep the desperation and confusion off my face.
You were taken aback by my question I could tell. But then realization crossed your face.
You glanced around and tried to take my wrist.
I moved away and clutched my arms close.
“Not now Kylun... I can’t.... I have to - I have to go.”
I turned around and walked off down another street.
“Zaydie!”
I was sorely tempted to look back. But the tears fell, I sniffed and kept walking.
Creator... I know you have a plan for everything... But... why does it all have to be so confusing?! Why can’t we just have a normal relationship with nothing to get in the way?! Why can’t we just be normal?!?!
I cried.
I took a deep shaky breath as I stepped out on a street.
I couldn’t sense you anymore. And I knew that you had probably teleported somewhere.
I wasn’t looking where I was going, And I didn’t hear the motorcycle come up at me till it was only a few feet away.
I heard the rider honk his horn and I turned just in time to see headlights.

I waited for the pain but it didn’t come. Instead I felt hands around me, and a strong wind whipping my hair and skirt around.
I took in a deep breath as I noticed I had been holding it.
I looked wildly around and saw that the city looked very far down.
I looked right in front of me and saw the silver chains of your robe. But I already knew.
“Zaydie what’s wrong?” You whispered.
“What’s wrong?!” I asked looking up into your ice blue eyes. “Kylun, everything’s wrong!” I took several steps away to clear my head.
“Everything’s wrong. I can’t seem to do anything with out hurting someone. Even if it’s just myself!
That’s probably because I’m so stinkin’ vulnerable that it isn’t even funny! I throw my heart out there at everyone and get it stabbed half the time!”
I was pacing. My hands rolling and unrolling the stupid piece of paper the Captain had given me.
You just watched me. (make a complete idiot out of myself) You didn’t try to stop me, or say I was wrong. You just watched.

“And... I can’t seem to make good decisions these days! I’m always getting hurt. And I hate it!” Tears started to fall again. “It’s hard to see one you care for leave you. And then only to come back and find out that he’s been playing on the other team.”
I stopped and looked at you with a set face. Even through the tears.
“I thought I had you figured out Kylun... But I guess I was wrong.” I said quietly. “You don’t trust me. I see that now. And I guess you never have. You always were one to keep me in the dark and play your little games. But now it’s just getting old.”
I turned around and tried to get a barring on where the heck I was.
I walked over to the edge of the roof and looked down.
Well at least we were still in Vecina.
You had taken me up on the roof of our tall apartment building (that the whole gang was staying in). The few that I’ve seen that has a flat roof.
I noticed the ledge about two stories down... I could make it... if it came to that.

“Zaydie... I’ve never trusted anyone.” You said.
I looked out at the city. It was over cast, and fog could be seen.
“I’ve been an outcast for most of my life. I’ve had to keep to myself. I never let anyone in. Ever! I didn’t know how. I still don’t.”
I could sense you take a cautious step forward.
“It’s hard... to let someone in after so many years. I’m trying. I don’t mean to keep you in the dark.”
“Well your not being very convincing.” I cut in with a sharp tone.
Emotions for over the past year washed over me. All the anger, the hatred, the betrayal. All of it.
“Zaydie you have to believe me. I don’t want to hurt you! It’s the last thing I want to do. Yet somehow I always seem to be doing it.” You said. You were closer to me now.
“At first I was to surprised by you that I pulled away. I didn’t want to let you in. I still don’t at times. But I’m learning Zaydie. You just have to give me time.”
I turned to you, my hair spun around my face.
“We don’t have time Kylun. The Fallen want me to murder a twenty year old kid just because they think he’s too close! I can’t keep doing this!
I don’t have a sense of peace about this. I don’t know if this is what the Creator had in mind when he told Tasin to get us the help we needed!
And on top of being the protector of Dresher, and trying to figure all this crap out, I have feelings I’ve been battling for the past year! Ever sense you left! I’ve been hurt, I feel like I’ve been crushed into a thousand pieces, and nothing I do can make it better! You hiding stuff, and making me find out the hard way is not helping anything Kylun!”
My jaw was aching from grinding my teeth, anger flashed across my face. But you took everything so calmly that it drove me nuts!

Creator... I need you now more then ever. I cried. I can’t make through this with out you. Your the only strength I have left. And I need you to be my light so I can see where I’m suppose to go. Please.... please show me the way.
Tears slid down my cheeks fast and froze in the cold wind.
My shoulders shook as I sobbed silently into the palm of my hand.
I felt your arms wrap around me as you talked quietly. Trying to calm me down.
“Zaydie... I’m sorry. I know how you feel. It’s hard being a kid and having such weight on your shoulders.
It shouldn’t be on yours. But the Creator chose you for a reason. You have a job that only you can do. No one else can and so you just have to keep pulling through. Just keep your head on.” You said quietly.
“I don’t know if I can do this any more.” I said into your jacket.
“Yes you can. Yes you can. The Creator will always be there to be your strength. And I will be with you for as long as you need me.”

“Zaydie... listen to him... He speaks the truth.... do not loose sight of me.... and do not loose him... he will be your anchor.... he will be your strength.”
I gasped as I heard the familiar voice of the Creator in my head.
“But... how? It’s so easy to loose sight.” I said.
“Yes... I know. But you made me a promise. You let me intertwine the two of you. You are meant to be together. It’s been planned. It’s been written. Hold on to him. Don’t let him go.
And do the same to Me.
I will light your paths. I will make it clear to both of you. You just have to trust Me.... and each other.
But remember... your destinies are intertwined... with a bond that will never be severed.”

Then the voice was gone. And realization and new light came to me.
“I’m sorry!” I cried. Clutching you tight. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to say all those things. I was just so... confused and lost I didn’t know what else to do.” I explained.
I rose my head and met your gaze. Though your face was distorted by all my tears.
“That was a sudden mood change.” You remarked. But then you noticed something. “The Creator spoke to you didn’t he?”
I nodded. You sighed.
“He did to me too.” You were quiet for a moment. “And I’m sorry too Zaydie... for not putting more trust in you when I should have. It’s just hard... But I’ll try.”
I nodded and let go.
“That’s all I’m asking for Kylun.” I said as I took several steps back. “Call me when your ready to talk.”
I then turned around and walked away.
“Zaydie... don’t walk away.”
I gasped when you grabbed my wrist and pulled me close.
Before I knew what had happened, your lips were pressed against mine a little more fierce then the other times.
It was like you were scared I was going to walk away, and never come back.

I kissed you till I had to breathe again. I pulled away gently and you leaned your forehead against mine as we both tried to regain our breath.
Man talk about butterflies.
“That’s so not fair.” I muttered with a grin.
“What?” You whispered.
“Doing the one thing that you know will melt me.”
You chuckled.
“Yeah well, I guess I’m just that good.”
I leaned back and gave you a hard look.
“Don’t get full of yourself mister.” I stated.
You laughed.
“Ok ok. Fair enough.”
I rolled my eyes.
Oh brother.

I turned back to the city as I tried to get the butterflies to settle.
“Zaydie...” I glanced over and it looked like you were having an emotional battle with in yourself. “I’m not who I was. I don’t want to be who I was any more. But back then, before you came in to my life. I was completely dark. I didn’t have a single shred of light in me. I did... something’s... “
I could tell this was hard for you to tell. So I just kept quiet.
“That I’m not particularly proud of... joining The Fallen, being one of them.”
You gazed out at the city with an extremely sad look on your face.
“I was lost... I didn’t know who to turn to. And then one of The Fallen’s member’s showed up and offered me that. And I took it.
When you came into my life, and I saw that I wasn’t the only one with a Mark of the Deity, I felt like I wasn’t so alone any more. Like I had a purpose other then just existing. So that’s why I have a chair.”
You said, turning to me.
I reached over and squeezed your hand. I leaned against your shoulder and looked out at the clouds that were getting darker.
“I didn’t have the same kind of childhood you did. So I can’t pretend to know what your going through.” I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this. “I just know that I’ll try to do what ever I can to help you. You don’t have to be scared of me.” I said quietly.
You chuckled and kissed the top of my head.
“I’m not scared of you Zaydie. I’m scared that you’ll be scared of me once you find out.” You said.
Oh... I hadn’t thought of that.
“Well does that really matter? I’m still stuck with you.”
“What do you mean by that?!” You asked.
I chuckled.
“I mean that our paths will always be connected Kylun. I’m part of you, just as much as your part of me. And I don’t think that’s ever going to change no matter how much we want it too.” I said with a smile.
“Really?”
I nodded.
“Yup. Like I said. We’re stuck with each other.”
You laughed.
“I like the sound of that.”
I looked at you.
“But are you sure you want that?” You asked. Getting all serious all of a sudden.
I smiled.
“Yeah. After all we’ve been through I’m not about to let go of you now.”
You opened your mouth but I knew exactly what you would say.
“I could care less if you think of your self as a monster still.” I said taking a step to the very edge of the roof. I clasped my hands behind my back and glanced over my shoulder with a smile.
You sighed.
“And your not. You do know that right?” I asked.
“Well seeing as you’ve told me so often it’s now hammered into my brain.” You stated.
I laughed.
“Your different.” You were quiet. “A good different. But different.”
“How’s that?”
I laughed again.
“Well besides the obvious,” I motioned to your head. You chuckled. “You smile more often now. Which is obviously a good thing.”
You chuckled.
“You know that’s ironic. Because even after I kicked Havrin out, the future you still said I didn’t smile enough.”
I scoffed.
“Well I obviously didn’t know you very well and had extremely high expectations! Because I’m lucky if I can get just one smile out of you a day.”
I said with a grin.
“Am I really that bad?”
I laughed.
“It’s just who you are. I don’t mind it as much as I use to. I use to think that everyone should be happy all the time like my sister and I, but then I met you and at first I thought there was something seriously wrong with you.”
“Oh well gee thanks.” You interrupted sarcastically.
“Well hey what can I say? but then i figured out that being all gloomy and moody all the time was just you.”
“That makes me feel fantastic.” again an other sarcastic remark. I shook my head.
“But your doing better. Especially with out Havrin to drag you down. Good for you and I”m glad the Creator’s done that for you.”
You chuckled.
“Well I’m glad you think so... I think anyway.”
“Come on. I want to show you something!” I said. You shrugged.
“Ok.”
I laughed and jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “Let’s go.”
I pushed myself off backwards off the roof.
I was falling head first with my hands out in front of me.
I caught the ledge three stories down and swung my self under it.
Flipping over the bars of the fire escape I landed softly on my toes.
“Gollie girl you sure do move fast with out thinking.” You remarked landing a little louder then me.
I waved the remark aside.
“Yeah well what can I say? I laugh in the face of danger. Now come on.”
I moved past you and walked down the fire escape,
I kept my footsteps light and practically jumped instead of step.
It was late. And I didn’t want to wake any one up. But this was the easiest way to go.
If you know what I mean.